I Can’t Believe You’re Ghosting Me?

Ghosting; when someone with whom you’ve been communicating, suddenly and inexplicably ceases to communicate with you. Ever again.

Often from someone you’d least expect; you had a good connection, everything seemed normal, you’d spent time together, you certainly weren’t strangers.  Until now.

It’s happened to me a lot, and I can tell you – rejection hurts. Every time.

Ghosting feels particularly painful for me because it makes me feel like I don’t exist. It triggers old scars of childhood abandonment and neglect. It tells me that I don’t matter enough to be worthy of an honest conversation, a basic courtesy and respect afforded to a fellow human being. I am about on par with an annoying skin rash of the just-ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away variety.

It’s not hard to say “Sorry, I’m not feeling it” or “I’ve met someone else”. Or to make up a lie. For god’s sake, anything!

Do they do it to inflict pain? Or because they lack the courage and/or skills to communicate?

Does this happen to me more than others? Is it actually something I’m doing wrong? Or perhaps the question I should be asking is … why am I attracting this into my life right now?

What I have come to understand for certain, is that a) I have no control over other people’s behaviour, and b) other people’s behaviour is no reflection on me or my worthiness as a person.

In any case – I do appreciate the opportunity to get in touch with this particular brand of pain and address it. No really. Because it’s only through connecting with this pain that healing can begin.

Xxx

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